Retreat Preparation

The tasks below are suggested to prepare for your retreat. Don’t think of these as “homework” to do for us. Think of it as starting your retreat process before we meet.

Each task is to help you and your partner to better understand each other, to help you to see what’s under your negative communication patterns and to give you basic information that can start improving things now.

However, no worries if you don’t have time to do these. Your retreat stands on its own. That said, we strongly recommend doing as much as you can!

1. Personality Type Assessment

This is the most useful task on this page. If you only do one thing, do this assessment of your personality type. It will change how you understand yourself and your partner. It can also help you more neutrally and accurately see how differences between your personalities create problems in your relationship and what to do about it.

• There are two “Initial Teaser Tests” to get you start thinking about yourself. These are only a warm up. They are not deep or accurate enough to stop there.
• If pressed for time, skip the teasers and go to the “Final Detailed Test”. It includes listening to audio recordings that describe each personality type in depth.
• Be sure to listen to the audio descriptions of any types you relate to, in order to confirm and deepen your understanding of what makes that personality type tick.
• It is also extremely beneficial to share your results with your partner and to listen to the audio descriptions of each other’s personality types.

For countless couples, doing this task started a positive change process before they began their actual retreats. Also, accurately reporting your personality types will help us more rapidly understand you and your partner, what underlies your issues, what blocks you from resolving them, and what can facilitate your healing.

Start your personality test now →

2. Your Retreat Goals

Make a list of the three top goals you have for the retreat. Put these in as positive a form as possible. Here’s an example:

A couple wants to stop getting so upset with one another. The positive form of the goal is what? To start communicating in a way that feels open, safe, inviting, and healing.

Really think about your goals. Then write them down and bring them to the retreat.

3. Read Five-Minute Relationship Repair

If you really want to get an in-depth head start on your retreat, get the book Five-Minute Relationship Repair. Read it, and do as many of the exercises in it you can.

This will help you identify the root cause of any reactive pattern of poor communication you fall into. It will also give you tools for repairing that pattern — tools that we can further apply and deepen in working together at your retreat.

Any time you spend with this book will move you forward now and benefit what you get from your retreat.

If you get the printed book, we recommend purchasing it at bookshop.org as they share profits with local bookstores. There are e-books at apple books, amazon.com, and barnesandnoble.com, the latter two also selling the physical book.

Purchase Five-Minute Relationship Repair at bookshop.org now →

There is a Workbook that accompanies this book. Do as many of the exercises as you can. This will dramatically increase your knowledge well before we meet.

The link below is to a PDF file. You may know how to click on the link to directly download it to your computer. But if you just click on it, your web browser will show it to you, and then you can save it or print it from there.

Download the accompanying Workbook PDF file here →

4. Self Assessment

If you do the previous step and do the exercises in its accompanying Workbook, you can skip this step (it is redundant). Compared to this step, the step above offers far more self-assessment and knowledge, so we recommend doing the above over the brief self-assessment in this step (though that does take more time).

But if you don’t do the step above and the exercises, then here are a few pages to fill out. The material in these pages will help you better identify your patterns of poor communication and negative cycles you fall into.

The link below is to a PDF file. You may know how to click on the link to directly download it to your computer. But if you just click on it, your web browser will show it to you, and then you can save it or print it from there.

Either way, print up these pages, making two copies — one for each of you. Fill in each of the pages. Then bring these with you to your retreat.

Download your self assessment PDF file here →

Remember to Make Your Final Payment

If you opted to make a half payment to reserve your Private Retreat, please remember to make your final payment before your retreat starting date.

Use the appropriate link below to get to your correct payment page:

• Payment page for a retreat with John →
• Payment page for a retreat with Hazal →
• Payment page for a retreat with both John & Hazal →

Do your best with the above preparatory tasks, but certainly don’t worry if you cannot get to it. Doing the things above will give you a head start, but a retreat stands on its own, and our time together will be powerful either way.

We look forward to our time together in your Couples Retreat.

If you have any questions, call 707-536-5781 — or use our contact form →

Warmest wishes,
Healing Couples Retreats