Testimonials for Virtual Retreats

Here is real feedback from real people. Posted below are what couples we’ve worked with have said about their Virtual Retreats using Zoom.

And there’s still more feedback about us…

“Our virtual retreat has been transformational. We were in a very bad place. Over the last four years we had lost touch, completely, with each other and the good in our relationship. And I was skeptical that we could ever find it again.

“It’s transformational to go from a place where you felt you have lost it and there may never be a way to recover it, to the place, in just days, where you feel confident you have the tools to keep your relationship clear again, to get back to that goodness.

“And it’s not just back to where we started. It’s to a better place. We’re in a much better place than we’ve ever been. That is the very definition of transformation to me.

“I feel so lucky we found you. You have not only the structure that’s right. You have a magic set of keys. And you have a way to get people to experience it. And once you have experienced this, you can’t go back. That’s transformational.

“When you find something like this, and you see it works, and it’s transformational, you want to spread the word. Because it’s not something that works for only one in a hundred people. No. This is basic. This is fundamental. It can work for anyone.”

“This has been awesome to do during the coronavirus time. We’re really grateful for you. We really weren’t doing very well. The emotional repair process you gave us has been huge. This all has been really effective.

“I’m looking at life through a different set of lenses now and I’m really happy. I feel it’s not my problem vs my partner’s problem, but we are in this together. It finally feels like we are really a team and we own our relationship as real partners. We really respect you and are so grateful for your help.”

“We’ve spent loads of time and money on therapists, and we have never connected like this. With your help we’ve discovered things we never knew about each other. And we’ve been together almost two decades.

“We sat in our last therapist’s office for seven months and could never speak our needs in a way that could be heard, or know each other’s truths, or deal with this overwhelming hard stuff (infidelity, lying, loss of trust).

“We were amazed that in such a short time with you, we got to the real root of our problems. Things we should have figured out ten years ago! We finally feel at peace for the first time in four years, and feel more connected than we have since our early days.”

“I was very skeptical of this process. It was a lot of money. Was it going to be worth it? But I now see that it was totally worth it. I didn’t know that you were going to have so much good information. It was very beneficial. I learned a lot about my wife that I didn’t know. And I learned how to really listen. And she is telling me she loves me, after so many years. I am thankful we had this opportunity to learn new ways to communicate. To learn new ways to address triggers and conflicts. I know we will stumble again. But now I feel confident that we can work through it.”

“I really liked doing the retreat from home. In our own house, in our surroundings, we felt more comfortable, we felt we could be more intimate, and it’s not unnatural in any way. And it felt like it was us doing the work, with you just making sure it kept moving along, so we didn’t get stuck.

“When you go somewhere else, it almost makes it seem like this other place is the important thing. And people say, when they go on retreats, that they ‘come back to reality’ at home again, and it’s terrible to come back to the same old thing. But with our virtual retreat, the transformation happened in our reality. There was no ‘back to reality.’ This is our reality. So it gives our changes a much more solid foundation.”

“By the end of the first day I felt like you had transformed everything for me. My skepticism had completely gone out the window. And I could see a complete change in my husband within the first day, and I knew that it was going to work.

“I want to thank you for such an incredible gift that you gave us. Because, if it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have made it. I know we wouldn’t have, based on how badly we were doing this year, and with him moving out, we wouldn’t have made it, if we didn’t make it to your retreat. We just didn’t have the tools.

“Doing the retreat virtually was great. It would have been much different if we had been there with you. Staying home, it was more about us, here. The two of us. And you, just being the coach, slightly removed, it was more intimate for us.”

“We’ve done an in-person retreat in the past, and now this virtual retreat. The virtual retreat was actually far less stressful. Being in our own home was much better than being in a strange place. It was easier. No stress from travel. No being in a different place. Being here at home and scheduling the sessions to suit us helped us apply the tools and make the changes we wanted in our daily lives.”

“In the end, I thought the virtual retreat was preferable to doing it at your place. If we had gone away it might seem the location made all the magic happen there. But here, it was in our own home we were making it happen. I really do think that doing the retreat virtually works quite well. I would never have thought it would be as productive this way. But now, I can say I prefer it.”

“We’ve been trying to change our communication patterns for a long time. We kept getting stuck and it kept getting worse. We finally have gotten to the stuff we couldn’t figure out on our own. I now can understand when my partner is reacting what is really going on. I know what is really triggering each other. I never understood what was driving the upset. Now that I know this, I can react differently. I know what to say and do to quickly repair things. This changes everything. I know why we get like that. I used to just think it was just hopeless. I don’t feel that way anymore. Now I know what to do to overcome the patterns that were destroying our relationship.”

“Learning to repair has been very real and very emotionally powerful. We both now feel things have been repaired. I feel purposeful and committed in our relationship and feel it can last because we have a way to emotionally connect and repair. It’s naïve to think we’re not going to have to work on our relationship, but with the tools we have now we know we can work through it and get there.”

“I feel we have resources and knowledge to get past where we were blocked before. Before this weekend, we would just go ‘Should we even be together? We can’t get though these issues… or even see the other side.’ We had no tools to get there. But now I feel prepared and we have everything on our toolbelt to resolve anything together. I feel very thankful that we are here now.”

“We ended up glad we did the work virtually rather than being somewhere that might have felt more artificial. You were in your spot, and we were in our spot. That felt very organic. I can see some people might want to get away from home, but being here in our own home was a very good thing for us. There was a sense of pride that we could be improving our ’emotional home’ and doing it right here where we live.”

“You helped us so much. We thank you from the bottoms of our hearts. This retreat was a really good experience, in the comfort of our own home. We have received such great tools from you.”

“Our online virtual retreat has been a very good experience. We have come a long way. Being in our own house helped a lot. It is easier to be more truthful and access emotions not having the therapist sit in the room. There is a little bit of distance which felt really good. I felt like we as a couple were a unit. It gives you a sense of impartiality which felt really safe to me.

“I didn’t know if I would like online work because I have never done it before. But it felt very good to have that distance between you and us. It felt good to be in my own space, use my bathroom, take a 10-minute nap if I need to during the break. The safety of our home made us more open to the process which went deep and was healing for us.”

“Having really reconnected with each other has been the best. It’s been a long time. Our connection now is amazing. We used to try to prevent upsets. So we ended up avoiding each other more. We now know we don’t have to avoid anything. We can use rifts as a chance to look into each other’s eyes and reassure each other and do the healing.

“Instead of just avoiding each other and getting locked up, with you we learned how to show each other where the keyhole is. I got a lot out of my partner showing me this, because I know it’s difficult, to say ‘I have a need. I have a fear. Here’s what it is. I am vulnerable.’ That’s really hard.

“I appreciated my partner being able to open up and learn to voice that. It makes me feel we are on the same level. It makes me relax to know that we both have similar things to get through together. It makes me feel we are equals. It feels good to understand each other’s real fears and know how to calm those down together. And stay feeling really connected.”

“During this stay-at-home period the online intensive we did with you has literally saved our marriage. We are so glad we found you. And we thank you for the security we have found with each other through working with you.”

“We didn’t want to do our retreat remotely, but eventually decided to go ahead with it anyway. We have been pleasantly surprised by how well we have improved our communication with one another.

“Something definitely has changed. We no longer feel awkward looking at each other in the eyes. Our barriers have let down and we’re no longer defensive. We are able to repair upsets like we never could before. And now we just sit down together every day and express our appreciation for each other.”

“We had hoped to get away and come to see you in beautiful Sonoma. But it worked out well to stay home and be able to spread out our sessions. That gave us plenty of time to put the tools we learned from you into practice for a day or two. And then we could get further coaching from you and improve even more.”

“Thanks to our work with you, we now understand each other on a deeper level and know why we get upset and how to talk about it. We have learned how to express our deeper feelings, to repair things emotionally, and to truly reconnect with each other.

“We feel so much more connected now like we are on the same wavelength. It feels so good to be at peace with one another, able to just be ourselves. And we are more understanding and compassionate of each other’s viewpoints. We can look more from each other’s perspective and find better ways to come to agreements.”

“Since our online retreat, now when we have differences, we know we’re going to get through it okay. We are not blaming each other anymore, and know how to work together as a team toward the same goals. We have each other’s backs and really feel that we are in this together.”

“We were initially quite apprehensive about doing an intensive retreat online vs. in person. But John coached us the same as if we were together. He is an incredible coach, the best in his field. We learned a huge amount about each other and how to communicate far better than we ever have.

“In hindsight, there are no negatives to doing this online, and there are some real positives, in addition to just the easier logistics: we were alone together during the off hours and the breaks, in our own comfortable, familiar surroundings. That made it far easier to focus on what we were actually there to accomplish and it made the breaks and meals very relaxing relative to being far from home in a hotel.”

“We were in a bad place. And doubtful a retreat would help, online or in person. The therapy we’ve had in the past would be us arguing and bringing up painful things, but we left with no tools. With you, it’s different. In just a few hours of coaching, we turned around 180 degrees from where we came in from.

“In between our sessions, we have used the tools we got from you and have done deep emotional repairs on our own. We see the beauty in doing this, how it helps us as a couple. It has been profound. We feel completely different. We both feel refreshed, renewed, and re-energized together.”

“We were initially very reluctant to do an online program, as we did not think it would be as effective compared to an in-person interaction. As it became apparent that we would not be able to do an in-person retreat in the near future, we took a leap of faith and went ahead with the retreat online.

“The worries and fears that we had in regards to the lack of efficacy of the online program dissipated on the first day working with you. Your reassurance and commitment to making the program as beneficial as in-person was apparent and truly appreciated. We do not feel that the online program was lacking in any way and would highly recommend it to our family and friends.”

“We originally signed up to do a retreat in person, but it got canceled due to the pandemic. We got an email saying that the retreat was converted to virtual. I first thought ‘I don’t want to do it virtually. I need the person right in front of me.’ I thought I wouldn’t get as much out of it doing it online.

“But now I can say that it was life-changing. Just the couple of days have really opened our eyes and our hearts. It was a very informative process. Doing it online was actually much better for us. To experience being 100% tuned into while in the comfort of our own home was amazing. We are very happy with the results…. This has made a big difference in our life.”

“The way this virtual retreat was put together and delivered, it was great that we had the opportunity, as we were trying out what we were learning, we could really get down into the weeds with a significant issue…. And then repair it! We learned the tools…. But then we were able to utilize these tools with our own biggest problems. That really made the retreat and the material you gave us trustworthy. And, as you know, I have a hard time trusting anything!”

“We are feeling very connected, on the same page, and there’s a renewal of energy and excitement in our relationship. We now have a much better understanding of both our roles in past upsets. And we have a sense of clarity and confidence that we can work on things together, and are committed to getting through any future issues we have.”

“We’re definitely glad we did the retreat virtually. The comfort and safety of being in our own home made such a big difference. We wouldn’t have been as comfortable doing it somewhere else. Although getting away from home is the common idea about a retreat, that would not have at all been as good as how secure we felt at our place. Being here really helped us do the work better.”

And there’s still more feedback about us…