Marriage Retreat » Retreat FAQs » Are Religious or Other Beliefs Involved?

Are Religious or Other Beliefs Involved?

John’s work is not based on religious beliefs. What you get is strictly based in practicality. It comes from a synthesis of two and a half decades of working with couples, seeing what works and what does not work. And it also comes from a wealth of scientific research over the last 20 years that reveals the behavioral patterns that lead couples to succeed or fail. It is about learning practical tools that enable you to stay happy and secure together.

Some couples have reported approaches where “guilt” was used. It is not likely such a tactic can stand the test of time. Real change needs to happen. To stay together, couples need to be happy together. You can only get there by using new, effective tools to communicate in a way that creates positive closeness. Only that will change things for the better.

This is not a marriage encounter. It is not based on pop psychology or the overly simplistic ideas of a celebrity author. What you will learn is a set of effective, practical tools that work. You will get results-oriented coaching to apply these tools to make positive changes in your relationship and resolve the issues that keep you from being happy together. And you will return home with solid new agreements and the well-practiced skills that will keep your love life on track.

Here are the explicit beliefs and principles of John’s work:

  • Everyone can build a rewarding and satisfying relationship — This is true regardless of anyone’s childhood, past history, or current circumstances. Two motivated and well-informed partners can change the way they interact and thereby achieve lasting happiness.
  • Being happy as a couple requires certain strategies and tools — The right tools and strategies can be learned. Regardless of age, we can always learn these proven strategies that will help us as a couple to maximize shared happiness and minimize upset.
  • We need to learn these key strategies now — Most of us didn’t model the right tools or strategies growing up, so we unconsciously repeat the poor strategies we did learn. This is the reason that our society has a high rate of relationship dissatisfaction and divorce.
  • Relationship problems are important opportunities — Upsets and problems tell us it is time to learn the right tools to succeed. The more distressing our problems, the more deeply we can heal and learn, and the more dramatic the positive shifts we can make.

Seen in a positive light, relationship problems — as unwanted as they are — are what will ultimately push each of us to grow as individuals to learn to communicate better. The problems we come up against, in our meaningful relationships, ultimately move us to learn new strategies and tools — ones which will lead us back to the shared happiness we want with our partner.

You can change things for the better. It’s a matter of learning the right tools. You can develop within yourself all the resources you need to get the positive changes you want in your relationship. John’s coaching is specifically designed to help you do that.

Many couples come to John after years or even decades of being stuck. Stuck in negative emotional cycles and downward spirals. Stuck with thick emotional walls built up over time. Stuck feeling mostly upset or shut down. It is hard for them to even imagine feeling happy with each other again. One or both have considered divorce. Often working with John is a last ditch effort.

Yet most of the time, after learning the right tools and strategies for how to operate as a couple in ways that lead to security and satisfaction, partners fall in love again. That this happens so often, over only a few days of intensive learning, reinforces John’s strong belief in a couple’s ability to make a dramatic shift for the better. It also proves the effectiveness of the tools and strategies that John will help you acquire.