As humans, we are capable of feeling a wide spectrum of emotions. The many colors of our inner rainbow range from joy, excitement, love, and compassion – to sadness, fear, anger, and regret. The card FULL SPECTRUM suggests that every one of these feelings is important to feel. Each feeling provides crucial feedback about your inner state and how you relate to whatever is happening around you.
Feelings are like the indicator lights on a car’s dashboard, giving vital signals about the state of your vehicle. In the case of feelings, you yourself are the vehicle. Anger may signal a violation of boundaries; fear telegraphs possible danger; and sadness indicates the loss of something important.
Unfortunately, in childhood, we learned to suppress some signals. We were taught to ignore certain feelings – told “It’s bad to be angry,” “It’s weak to cry or show pain,” or “You shouldn’t be afraid.” In essence, we were taught to disconnect some of our indicator lights. We were told that these signals shouldn’t be felt, that they should be ignored.
That training works against us. Various situations in life will eventually evoke all these human feelings. They are all natural to feel, whether you label them “good” or “bad.” The question is not whether you should feel anger, sadness, regret, or fear. The real question is, how do you respond when these feelings do come up? Do you resist them – and get stuck? Do you divert yourself into blaming a partner for “making” you feel the way you do? Or can you simply feel the feeling – without analyzing its cause or trying to change it?
The card FULL SPECTRUM asks you to take stock, and accept and honor all of your human feelings – all the reds, yellows, oranges, purples, blues, and greens that make up your full range. Are there certain emotions you never seem to feel, yet others you frequently get stuck in? If so, then learn to feel them all, even ones you consider wrong to have. By doing this, you’ll increase your capacity for joy and happiness!
A good time to open to the many colors of your spectrum is when you are upset. At such times, it is easy to get stuck in half-felt emotions. Instead of reacting outwardly to others, spend some time alone, and open your heart to just feel whatever you really feel inside – in its entirety.
It takes both courage and patience to simply experience the fullness of feelings, and not push against them. But if you don’t let yourself fully feel a particular feeling – without mental diversions – it will only keep haunting you. It’s far better to meet the feeling and experience it entirely, letting it move in and through you. Breathe. Be gentle. And be courageous.
Especially invite in any feelings that you seldom seem to have. Open up to the rarely felt hurt under the familiar anger, the rarely felt anger under the familiar sadness – or the rarely felt fear under both. This is a secret for getting unstuck, and for reclaiming your full human emotional range!
After you entirely feel your feelings, it’s likely that you’ll be able to communicate better with your partner. This card asks you to feel fully. But remember, there’s feeling – and then there’s communicating. You always honor your feelings best if you communicate them respectfully and constructively.
By John Grey, PhD