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Listen to the audio description while you read this page about Type 5 — The Observer:
more about the observer
The Observer tends to think the world demands too much, and gives too little. They focus on protecting themselves from intrusions or demands made on them by others.
They value privacy. They need signficant amounts of time alone. They will tend to be detached and will easily withdraw from others. Emotional states overwhelm an Observer — both their own feelings and those of other people. Hence they will isolate from their feelings and try to avoid the feelings of the people around them. They retreat to the domain of the mind and intellect. Others find this void of emotional connection a kind of rejection, a sign their feelings don’t matter.
The detached stance of an Observer can leave them feeling isolated. Lots of alone time may also bring with it the pain of feeling lonely. They may then long for connection. Yet at the same time, an Observer feels inadequate when it comes to connecting and dealing with real emotional interchange in relationships.
In the dance of ‘connection vs. space’ they tend to need lots of space and can feel trapped. Others perceive them as unavailable, aloof, and try to get them to open up and talk about their feelings. It’s easy to mistake an Observer’s need for privacy as a form of rejection. Their retreat into the intellect can easily be seen as being superior.
Personal growth for an Observer is to become comfortable with feelings. Start sensing what you feel. And reveal this to others, in real time, as soon as you feel it. When you feel like withdrawing, move closer. Participate in life more, engage in conversation and discuss personal things about yourself.
Lost essential quality: A sense of omniscience; simply knowing there is an ample supply of knowledge and an abundance of energy for everyone.
Compensating belief: The world demands too much from people and gives them too little, potentially resulting in a scarcity of resources.
Attention/coping strategy: Protecting yourself from intrusion and demands by cutting off feelings. Focusing attention on intrusions and detaching to observe. Becoming self-sufficient, seeking privacy, limiting desires.
Trap: Obtaining self-sufficiency will free you from needing anything from others.
Driving energy: Avarice (stinginess) for essentials that are perceived as being scarce, such as private time and knowledge.
Avoidance: Intrusion and demands by others leading to depletion of energy or to a sense of inadequacy.
Strengths: Keeper of confidences, knowledgeable, calm in a crisis, appreciative of simplicity.
Paradox: Striving for self-sufficiency cuts one off from essential resources and nurturance.
Path of development:
- Experience feelings in the moment
- Stay connected rather than withdrawing
- Allow more people into protective circle
- Reveal personal matters, express self
- Engage in physical activity
Ultimate task: Reconnecting to the energy of life force and heart-felt feelings, realizing that ample energy and resources are available.
The basic proposition:
You lost sight of the universal principle that there is an ample supply of all the knowledge and energy that everyone needs, and came to believe instead that the world demands too much from people or gives them too little. You learned to protect yourself from intrusion and insufficient resources by becoming private and self-sufficient. You limit your desires and wants, and acquire knowledge. At the same time, you develop a sense of avarice for time, energy and knowledge. Your attention naturally goes to intrusions and detaching to observe.
The central issue for healing:
While everyone has concerns about potential scarcity, with not having enough emotional connection or material supplies to sustain our life and well being, for Observers this became the central issue. As a consequence Observers retracted into the mind, detached from feelings and emotional claims, and conserved their energy by reducing needs and pursuing self-sufficiency. They didn’t realize that this can lead to a lonely and even impoverished life.
Healing means reversing this process, even though it may be counter to the way you’ve learned to feel comfortable in the world. Moving forward into life-giving energy and building emotional contact represent your key developmental issues. By expanding into feelings, experience and connection, more of life energy will naturally be available.
Six healing and growth commitments for Type Fives:
- Recognize and release the avarice for time, space, energy and knowledge
- Make the counter-instinctive move forward into life and feelings
- Stay present, engaged with others
- Share or give more of yourself while taking in more support from others
- Recognize there are ample resources, and practice abundance
- Realize that the flow of universal energy to meet life’s real needs
If the above personality type seems to fit you, we recommend you print out this page for easy reference. We also highly recommend that you listen to the audio description at the top of this page.