Hazal Selçuk, Couples Retreat Coach

Hazal Selçuk, MA, RDT, REAT, RSME/T, offers a full range of intensive marriage retreat formats and couples coaching sessions at Healing Couples Retreats.

Hazal has a Masters in Counseling Psychology (MA). This followed a long professional career in music and theater in which she earned a Master of Fine Arts (MFA).

Building on this diverse background, Hazal is a Registered Drama Therapist (RDT), a Registered Expressive Arts Therapist (REAT), and a Registered Somatic Movement Educator and Therapist (RSME/T).

Hazal offers the following services…

Private Retreats, Groups & Coaching

Similar in approach and format to John’s retreats, Hazal conducts her own Special Private Retreats. On this page below you will find out all about these and how to sign up.

Hazal also co-leads all of the Group Retreats along with John. Together, Hazal and John also offer very powerful Deluxe 2-on-2 Private Retreats.

Hazal is the Lead Follow-Up Coach at Healing Couples Retreats for all retreats, whether they were conducted by her or John. She can provide either online or in-person sessions.

Hazal’s follow-up coaching helps partners apply, integrate and master the tools they acquire in a retreat to their lives once they are back home again.

In addition to her work with couples, Hazal also excels at working with individuals and groups with relationship issues. Having lived in five different countries on three continents, she is especially adept at working with cross-cultural dynamics and issues.


More about Hazal’s Background

Hazal received her MA in Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS). She also has extensive training in the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT).

Additionally, Hazal has specialized and in-depth training in Drama Therapy, Somatic Movement Therapy and Expressive Arts Therapy.

Hazal is also trained in trauma healing methods of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP) and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM) for healing developmental trauma.

Having a wide range of experience, her clinical background includes working at Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute, at the Center for Empowering Refugees, at the Lomi Psychotherapy Clinic, at the Mind Therapy Clinic in Marin, and at San Quentin Prison.


Special Private Retreats with Hazal

Hazal’s private retreats are generally six hours a day, each day comprised of two 3-hour sessions with a relaxing 90 minute lunch break in between. Retreat lengths can vary from 2-days to 4-days.

Retreats take place in the lovely small town of Sebastopol in Sonoma County, home of the wine country.

During your time together with Hazal, she will help you effectively address and resolve in depth your particular challenges and needs as a unique couple.

You will come away with new experiences, frameworks, tools and a new set of custom-designed agreements to help consolidate the progress you make in a highly practical way that you can take home with you. And follow-up sessions with Hazal are available to help you integrate your positive changes into your daily lives.

Loving, lasting change is possible.

COST: The per-couple cost is $2350 per day for a Private Retreat. 2-day to 4-day retreats are available. Travel, meals and accommodations not included.

TIMING: We meet from 10:30 AM to 6:00 PM, with a 90 minute lunch break.

DATES: Look at our retreat calendar for available dates of Special Private Retreats (days colored blue) or email Hazal to discuss all potential options.

FOLLOW-UP: Hazal offers online follow-up coaching to help you integrate the tools and changes you acquire in a retreat and keep moving forward on a positive track.

CONTACT US: We would be happy to discuss our Private Retreat with you either by phone or email. Feel free to contact us with any questions you have.

ACCOMMODATIONS: We have a list of recommended places to stay. Having your couples retreat location in our part of California is a special joy. Here, you can choose between a wide variety of charming cottages, hotels, B&B’s and inns.

For more info call Hazal at (707) 787-1967 or email her now

Letter from a Private Retreat Client

“My husband and I miserably lived in a ‘hole’ for many years. Individual and couples therapy did nothing but give us more of a chance to blame and label each other. I was desperate for an intensive and in depth solution.

“I researched and telephone interviewed several options. When I spoke with John Grey on the phone, I knew he was the one. He was booked out for a couple months and I was desperate for an earlier date. He suggested Hazal, and reassured me that she could help us.

“As we did our prep work, we both grew excited knowing our relationship would be forever changed for the better.

“My excitement turned to nervous anxiety a few hours before the first session. Hazal quickly made us both feel at ease. She quietly allowed us to each blame the other for about 15 minutes and then we stopped as she began to work her magic. The first three hours went by so easily as we began to learn a new productive and loving way of communicating. My tears overflowed.

“Over the course of the next two days, our old ways had flipped for the better and for the first time in years, I trust and feel protected by my husband. I even crave him sexually which I haven’t done in I don’t know how long.

“I looked at Hazal several times throughout our few days and told her, ‘Hazal you are SO GOOD.’ She is a master of teaching change and how to express true fears and feelings. Her voice and mannerisms are so soothing. Her technique and exercises are eye opening.

“My husband and I are now feeling like two different people with a new loving and healthy relationship. Our children, employees, friends, and even pets are for sure going to notice the huge difference in us!!”

—Kim T

Hazal’s Approach

Hazal’s approach is informed by current neuroscience and attachment research as applied to how partners in intimate relationships can function securely and sustain lasting happiness and satisfaction. Hazal has extensive training in expressive arts and drama therapy. She brings warmth, embodiment, and playfulness into her work.

Her work with couples and individuals is based on the principle that we all want to be seen, heard and understood, especially by the ones we love the most. Whether we fight over small things, or big issues — if we become stuck, entangled or estranged from our partner, it impacts our entire quality of life.

With Hazal’s help, many clients discover how within minutes of getting in a fight — or even seconds — that what’s really driving their distress boils down to a some very basic yet unspoken questions, like: “Do I matter to you?” “If I hurt, do you care?” “Do you accept me just as I am?” or “Can I depend on you?”

The tools Hazal gives couples enable them to overcome reactive cycles and resolve issues, both large and small. Instead of escalating into states of emotional upset or shutting down, with her guidance partners learn to repair ruptures, speak from their hearts, and express what they need in effective ways that let them to feel loved, respected and connected.

For more info call Hazal at (707) 787-1967 or email her now

Re-Wiring for Sustained Happiness and Love

Partners can struggle with relationships for a long time. Happiness seems almost impossible to sustain long term, as they find themselves reacting more and more over time. Little things turn into big fights, in ways that make no rational sense.

Resulting emotional wounds create walls between partners, as they fall under the spell of primitive parts of their brains that act out increasingly destructive patterns. Couples fall into states of fight, flight or freeze, even blowing up or shutting down.

vineyard-mountains-fog

Such upsets and reactive patterns are operate unconsciously. They get triggered without our permission or understanding, and they originate in our earliest wiring.

Early emotional attachment wiring can distort the way we see, think about, and act in our relationships for the rest of our lives.

The only way to upgrade such limiting patterns is to consciously get aware of how they operate and acquire new tools to overcome them.

You are not doomed to repeat debilitating early attachment patterns throughout your life. You do have the power to transform such old wiring with your partner today, if you know how.

By understanding how our wiring shapes the way we unconsciously interact, we gain the possibility for new growth. Literally, we can create new neural pathways in our brains. This is called neuroplasticity, or the ability of the brain to change its wiring when it receives the right inputs.

With compassionate and skillful guidance from Hazal, you will develop awareness of the underlying mechanics in how you engage in relating so that you can grow a healthy relationship. You will discover new tools for communicating that naturally promotes safety, connection, trust, and freedom. You will learn proven strategies to maximize shared happiness and to quickly repair the bumps in the road all couples encounter.



Another Letter from a Couple

“Dear Hazal,

“Allow us to express our gratitude for helping us with what matters the most in our lives. We are holding the wisdom you’ve shared with us very close to our hearts, as it has been guiding us.

“We have been very supportive of each other and have effectively put in practice your tools. Many things have happened as a result. We realize our partner is there to support us. We find what we need in our partner.

“We are quite surprised by how deep your teachings have touched us, allowing us to feel safe together, calming our fears at the very moment in which they are triggered — or as soon as it becomes possible.

“A big, sincere ‘Thank You!'”

—H and M


More Feedback from Past Clients

“Hazal was instrumental to healing our marriage. Her guidance helped both of us get deeply in touch with our core feelings. She had a great healing energy and strong instinct about each of our personalities and needs. Thank you so much for giving us renewed connection in our marriage.”


“My wife and I have tried multiple marriage therapists in our 14 years of marriage. Hazal has been the BEST by far. She was the most intuitive and positive healing therapist I’ve ever encountered in my life. I now feel truly healed from years of hurt, and I now feel like we have real, practical, holistic solutions to use in our day-to-day marriage problems. I highly recommend Hazal.”


“Our private retreat with Hazal was amazing. I was skeptical at first, and my partner was actually ready to cancel the retreat! But we are both so glad we came because now we’re feeling hopeful again and back in love with each other. And we have learned the tools to stay connected. This has changed how we view each other, and I even experienced a shift in me in how I view myself, which is so positive.”


river near retreat location“Working with Hazal was a gift. She has the ability to intuitively translate and understand different modes of information access and processing.”


“Hazal’s use of interactive, engaging and hands on techniques to help couples center and connect in a mindful way provide a solid foundation upon which to repair and build a strong, stable relationship.”


“More than I expected. Nice balance between presentation, discussion and couples exercises. From general marital preventative maintenance to learning how to deal with major marital distresses, this marriage retreat is highly recommended.”


“We were looking for ways out of our negative cycle — ways to move toward each other in the face of conflict — and this retreat gave us those. Hazal’s very professional, calm and welcoming demeanor, comfort and ease with us as couples, all helped me feel comfortable in finding a way through what would otherwise have been tough territory.”


“I was really skeptical about the retreat and didn’t want to attend. However, within the first five minutes, I knew we were in the right place. I now have hope for our marriage, our future, and it’s all because I have the tools and the step-by-step process to repair and prevent upsets. I highly recommend this retreat to couples that have tried everything and failed.”


“Our retreat proved to be an immensely beautiful experience, which provided very positive tools to repair crucial aspects of our relationship — through a sensible and thorough method. Hazal is an exceptional professional. We would recommend this retreat to any couple that needs guidance.”


“This exceeded all expectations. I didn’t expect to go home with such common sense practical tools to help our relationship. Hazal was amazing! The body of work, put together with a warm style was effective and compelling. I’m so happy to have done this and fully optimistic about our use of the techniques.”


“I highly recommend this retreat with Hazal. I was hesitant to come, believing there was no hope! But on day two of the retreat I had a significant break-through. Both my husband and I agree that we are now hopeful and excited for the future of our marriage.”


“Healing Couples Retreats proved to be an immensely beautiful experience, which provided very positive tools to repair crucial aspects of our relationship — through a sensible and thorough method. Hazal is an exceptional professional. We would recommend this retreat to any couple that needs guidance.”


“Just leaving a weekend group retreat with Hazal at Healing Couples Retreats with a renewed sense of positivity and optimism. We have specific tools and techniques to help us repair our communication.”


“I highly recommend this retreat with Hazal. I was hesitant to come, believing there was no hope! But on day two of the retreat I had a significant break-through. Both my husband and I agree that we are now hopeful and excited for the future of our marriage.”


“At first I was hesitant about attending a group session. But my experience was very positive. I ended up learning so much more in a group. I realized the other couples are struggling with the same things… Learning new skills for repair and how to discuss real feelings…. I am so thankful for these new tools.”


“The retreat provided tools and resources that restored our relationship. It provided hope to us that we can both be happy and secure with each other. We strongly recommend that any couple that wishes to improve their home life consider this retreat.”


“In all honesty, I didn’t know what to expect, and didn’t think our issues could be resolved in a group setting in just three days. However, this weekend went way above my expectations. John and Hazal both guided us in a very intuitive flow, and we came away with a much better understanding of what is really going on, and give us some practical tools to keep working on this. Thank you both for your wisdom and guidance. You both have a unique approach which compliments perfectly. Thank you!”


“I thought the content of this retreat was far superior to any other book or therapy I’ve experienced. Hazal and John’s calm, empathetic, and intellectual approach and energy created a safe environment for open communication. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity; my wife and I are very optimistic about our future together. Thank you for your wisdom!”


“Healing Couples Retreats allowed me to see into my spouse’s eyes and soul in a way I had forgotten how to do. It gave us both new tools and techniques to use this vulnerable insight in a positive, constructive way.”


“This retreat was soul food for our relationship!! From the simple way to understand attachment and how it affects couples to the tools we learned to repair, Hazal give hope infinite! I came in mad, hurt and not liking my partner. Doubtful a weekend would change much…. How wrong I was! I see the man I loved and a new person to care for! Thank you for the love medicine.”


For more info call Hazal at (707) 787-1967 or email her now

Deluxe 2-on-2 Private Retreats with Hazal & John

Working with both John and Hazal in a Deluxe 2-on-2 Private Retreat provides you with a uniquely powerful and transformative experience.

John and Hazal’s combined skill sets, along with their ability as a couple to represent both genders, offers you unparalleled guidance to achieve positive changes.

Though most work is done with both partners together, given the versatility of the 2-on-2 format, Hazal and John can also provide help to each partner individually as needed.

Retreats are generally 6 hours a day, each day comprised of two 3-hour sessions with a 90 minute lunch break in between. Retreat lengths can vary from 2-days to 4-days.

COST: The per-couple cost is $4900 per day for a Deluxe 2-on-2 Private Retreat. 2-day to 4-day retreats are available.

TIMING: We meet from 10:30 AM to 6:00 PM, with a 90 minute lunch break.

CONTACT US: We would be happy to discuss setting up a 2-on-2 Deluxe Retreat with you. Feel free to contact us with any questions you have.

FOLLOW-UP: Hazal offers online follow-up coaching to help you integrate the tools and changes you acquire in a retreat and keep moving forward on a positive track.

ACCOMMODATIONS: We have a list of recommended places to stay. Having your couples retreat location in our part of California is a special joy. Here, you can choose between a wide variety of charming cottages, hotels, B&B’s and inns.