The fast pace of life so common today leaves many of us feeling like there is a shortage of time. We get buried under schedules and deadlines, and there are never enough hours in a day. We have little time to simply relate with one another – especially time when we are able to be energetic, present, and not distracted by other matters.
The card TIME asks you to consider how you dedicate time to your relationship. Many of us tend to focus relationships on accomplishing some enterprise – a business, a task, a project, or raising children. We may yearn for more time together, just to be with each other, but a sense of duty seems to continually call us away.
Clearly, if you value something, it requires that you tend to it. This is as true for a relationship as it is for a business or anything else on your list of things to do. If you do not put in enough time and energy, it is obvious that things may fall apart through inertia. The card TIME puts you on notice to be wary of taking a relationship for granted or spending too much time focused upon external goals. The primary goal of any meaningful relationship is simply to relate in a meaningful way! Your partnership will prosper only if you make sure that it remains a rich source of positive energy and personal growth.
A relationship is like a garden. You must actively tend it if you want to harvest ongoing positive energy. If you take it for granted, failing to feed or water it, your crops will die, leaving nothing to harvest. You feed a relationship with your authentic presence. From time to time, you water it with the tears of shared feelings. It needs such moisture – and it also needs the warmth of the sunshine that’s in your heart.
The card TIME is simply a reminder that any meaningful relationship calls on you and a partner to share time together, but not just time involved in goal-oriented activities. You might need to schedule this special time, but you do not need to plan it out any more specifically than to say you will go for a walk or get away for the weekend.
During this time with your partner, be available to make genuine contact. What makes this time special is that you are truly sharing yourself and that you are bringing out positive qualities in yourself – qualities like compassion, patience, joy, peace, understanding, respect, and true caring; qualities like listening from the heart and speaking from the heart.
If you get too busy with accomplishing things, you may fail to feed these qualities into your relationship – which may then become dry and barren. Sometimes people try to escape into activities in order to avoid something. If this is happening for you, the card TIME may have appeared to encourage you to take stock. It may be crucial to set aside time to be with your partner – to explore and share your feelings, and find out what is truly going on. The danger in escaping from relating is that you may end up losing the entire relationship.
You and your partner are growing a garden together. You can end up with weeds, or you can harvest positive energy, joy, and fulfillment. The time you spend together will make all the difference.
By John Grey, PhD