Healing Couples Retreats

Online Virtual Marriage Retreats with John Grey, PhD

Menu

Skip to content
  • MARRIAGE RETREAT
  • RETREAT PROGRAMS
  • VIRTUAL
    • Our Virtual Retreats
    • Better than In-Person
    • What Clients Say
    • In-Person Retreats?
  • TESTIMONIALS
    • John’s Retreats
    • Hazal’s Retreats
    • Virtual Retreats
    • Couples Retreats
    • Experts’ Reviews
  • FAQs
    • Full Listing of All FAQs
    • What Happens in a Retreat?
    • How Is Our Approach Different?
    • What Results Can You Get?
    • How Can You Improve So Fast?
    • Is Our Retreat Right for You?
    • Types of Issues We Address?
    • What If a Partner Isn’t Motivated?
    • Are Religious Beliefs Involved?
    • Costs, Availability & Details?
    • Why Are Virtual Retreats Better?
    • What About In-Person Retreats?
  • ABOUT
    • John Grey
    • Hazal Grey
  • HELP
    • All Help Resources
    • Relationship Articles
    • Flash Cards for Love
    • Love Advice Column
    • The Love Quiz
    • Self-Help Books
    • Save Your Marriage
    • FAQs About Retreats
  • CONTACT
    • John Grey
    • Hazal Grey
We've been conducting marriage retreats for over three decades.  Now our virtual retreats are even better than working in person →
← Go Back to Previous Page

Nurturing

 

We all need to be nurtured – by others and by ourselves. To nurture is to care for, feed, or nourish. Nurturing starts by accepting that we each still have childlike aspects, regardless of our age. These may appear in spontaneous states of wonder and surprise, or in silly moods. You are far too “adult” if you don’t nurture these parts of yourself. Honoring the joy and energy of your childlike self is a source of true vitality.

You may also experience childlike qualities when you feel hurt, afraid, or angry. At such times, you may be experiencing emotional wounds from childhood that have been touched off by the present situation – and feeling a “younger” part of yourself that still needs love and healing. This part especially needs your nurturing. Until you learn to better nurture your childlike self, the same old sensitivities, hurts, fears, or rages are likely to arise in your life.

In nurturing yourself, give yourself the full compassion, patience, and understanding that you would give to a small child you really love. Perhaps imagine such a child living within you. Let your inner voice take on the kind, reassuring tone of a loving parent. Support, validate, and be present within yourself. Invite your innermost feelings to come up within you, just as a loving parent would invite a child to open up and share how they truly felt.

When you can simply acknowledge and fully experience your own feelings – especially feelings like sadness, anger, or fear – you nurture yourself. Nurturing yourself is accepting your feelings rather than pushing them away or becoming critical. It is embracing your feelings instead of denying them, blaming a partner, or trying to get others to fix how you feel. Just as a child needs to feel all their feelings and be held, to nurture yourself is to sit quietly and connect with how you truly feel, letting your love reach deep within yourself.

The card NURTURING may have come up to encourage you to cultivate nurturing within your relationship. But only after you have learned to be fully available and nurturing to yourself can you begin to do this with a partner. If you are not comfortable with your own emotional pain, it’s very hard to stay present when your partner feels pain, without trying to fix it or avoid it. If you cannot experience your own anger without projecting blame onto others, it is hard to listen to your partner’s anger without reacting.

True nurturing holds a space for all feelings – pain, fear, grief, and anger, and also joy, wonder, and excitement. To nurture yourself is to embrace all the feelings that arise within you – and all those that arise in your partner. Your willingness to simply sit with and accept each other in emotional times can be deeply healing.

What would be nurturing to you right now? In what ways could you nurture yourself? What kind of nurturing would you like to experience within your relationship?

Nurturing is like honey, which has the power to transform a lemon into a thirst-quenching drink. Transformation does not happen through artificial sweetening. It comes about through a genuine presence and compassion with our own – and each other’s – deepest emotional realities.

Keys to Lasting Shared Happiness

Couples who stay happy know the tools that keep love and positive feelings alive. Discover the communication tools to resolve conflicts, stay connected, and enjoy a thriving relationship.

Get Relationship Tools for Positive Change →

← Go Back to Previous Page
Nurturing

We all need to be nurtured – by others and by ourselves. To nurture is to care for, feed, or nourish. Nurturing starts by accepting that we each still have childlike aspects, regardless of our age. These may appear in spontaneous states of wonder and surprise, or in silly moods. You are far too “adult” […]

Resources

  • Relationship Help Articles
  • Relationship Cards
  • Love Advice Column
  • Love & Relationship Quiz
  • Books by John Grey, PhD

Marriage Retreats

  • About Our Couples Retreats
  • Costs and Scheduling
  • Contact Us About a Retreat
  • Contemplating Divorce
  • Surviving Infidelity & Affairs
  • Reactive Cycles & Distancing
  • Empty Nest & Like Roommates
  • Sexual & Intimacy Problems
  • Mid-Life Crises & Life Changes
  • Premarital & Marriage Tune-Up

About John Grey

  • John’s Background & Approach
  • Reviews by Relationship Experts
  • Testimonials from Retreat Clients
  • A New Film Features John’s Work

Get a Free e-Book

Download John’s inspiring e-Book Wiring Your Brain for Love 3.0

Home Page
Contact Us
About Dr. John Grey
Our Policies
Site Map
Marriage Retreat Description
Details, Costs, Scheduling
Frequently Asked Questions
Virtual Marriage Retreats
Testimonials from Couples
Relationship Help
Love Advice
Love Quiz
Relationship Cards
Free eBook
Back to Top of Page Back to Top

© 2023 JMG