Opening means coming out of yourself, opening the gates of your boundaries, and experiencing the “yes” of being with another person. It’s like being a flower that opens and reaches out to the sun. Breathing more freely, you can begin to feel the warmth of that sun within your chest. This warmth will ultimately radiate out to others. In opening and reaching out, you become more available and willing to share yourself.
Opening is a choice. You can open, not open, or choose any gradation in between. All relationships include cycles of being more and less open. It’s normal to occasionally withdraw into yourself for a while, to recharge your batteries. You need not always be open, and closing down doesn’t need to mean anything is “wrong.” Trust in your natural wisdom, like a flower that knows instinctively when to open and when to close. However, when you do say “yes” – and do open – you have chosen to become available to enhance and nurture your relationship, to feel it deeply in your heart.
Opening is unlocking your gates of self-protection. You invite another person in, asking, “Who are you, really? I want to know. I am open to knowing.” It is here that you can truly meet each other, free of limiting labels, fears, or judgments.
Openness is sometimes difficult to achieve. Over time, we may build up certain layers of insulation. For instance, are you ever aware of fearing rejection, then avoiding a situation? Do you ever tend to withdraw because there are certain things that you have trouble coping with? Do you ever expect to be hurt and so keep yourself on guard? If you habitually stay on guard, you may not even notice it. You may become numb, distrusting openness, even calling it naive. But opening could be your salvation – and your healing. This card encourages you to open again, even if you’ve been hurt, even if it seems like a risk. It may well be a risk worth taking.
Opening starts with opening to yourself. If you tend to open to others first, you may end up feeling depleted. But if you first open to yourself, you can find the true wellspring of love and healing within you. With your heart open, start sending deep healing love to all the wounded parts of yourself, all the parts that have been hurt. After you have done this, you can open to others, reach out, and let them into your life more completely.
If you picked the card OPENING, it may mean that you can afford to open further. You can afford to taste more of the sweetness that life offers. You can afford to shed some of the weightiness of excess protection, and discover more of the joy and fulfillment that relating can hold for you. The time may be right for you to make the move – and to begin to reach out to another person.
To be open is to be vulnerable and excruciatingly honest about who you are – about your past, your mistakes, your fears, your pains, your hopes, your real wants and needs. You do this in the spirit of accepting who you really are – and who your partner really is. Opening happens when the two of you reach out with the intention of embracing each other’s true selves. In this embrace, you can heal deeply, and renew your delight in the joys of relating.
By John Grey, PhD