Once upon a time – long, long ago – there lived a child. This child was innocent, curious, and playful. It came into the world filled with joy, smiles, and a heart full of love to share. As the child grew, from time to time there was hurt – sometimes small, sometimes large. There were moments when the child felt misunderstood, belittled, or unimportant. At other times, it felt stifled, controlled, or ashamed. Each of these events left a wound or a scar – a sensitivity within the psyche of the child. Emotional themes developed – perhaps one of abandonment or another of being engulfed by others.
Now – years later – this child has become an adult having relationships with other adults. But what happened to those wounds and sensitivities? Did they simply vanish? Were they somehow healed? Or do they remain somewhere deep in the psyche of this adult, affecting his or her relationships?
The card INNER CHILD invites you to heal the wounds of childhood that remain inside and continue to affect your life. For most of us, old wounds and sensitivities can still be stirred up by others, even after all this time. It’s not that others set out to stir them up. It’s just that we tend to react to things in the present, based on our past.
These reactions cause much upset in relationships. But the good news is that you can heal these old wounds – and free yourself from the sensitivities formed around them. Consider how this could benefit your relationship. Instead of reacting to things based on your past, you’d be free to discover options that bring you far more fulfillment in the present.
The card INNER CHILD speaks of a path that many take to this inner healing. It involves meeting today – as an adult – the child you once were. If you are willing, you can contact this “inner child” through your imagination. This is essentially an act of self-love. It is especially fruitful in times of emotional turmoil. It helps you get to the bottom of what’s really going on inside of you. It’s a way of healing the deeper wounds that have been stirred up in you.
Start by getting an image of what you looked like as a child. Explore this in detail. Get a sense of what this child wants, needs, or feels. Trace the feelings you have now back to like feelings from childhood. Visualize the child who had those feelings. Open your heart. Invite the child to tell you all it feels – and sit quietly with it. Let the child “speak” to you in any way it feels safe to do so. Just stay present and available, perhaps holding the child. You might let yourself become one with the child and simply experience whatever feelings arise.
Approach the child with love, patience, and understanding. Develop a new way of talking inside yourself – one with the supportive tone and words you know this child would respond to. Educate and encourage this “younger” part of yourself. Be willing to contact it whenever you experience anger, hurt, fear, or upset. Fully accept and validate whatever feelings are present. Never try to talk the child out of what it feels. Never try to fix or change things. In giving such unconditional self-love, you will heal yourself. You’ll heal emotional wounds, expand your ability to relate in healthy and loving ways, and increase your capacity to feel wonder and joy in the world.
By John Grey, PhD