Harmony in a relationship results from actively resolving tensions, issues, and conflicts, instead of passively withdrawing or letting things slide. Partners who merely avoid conflict do not create true harmony. Harmony comes from working with tensions to produce their resolution.
The card HARMONY reminds you that it is very natural for conflicting issues and tensions to arise in relating. In resolving them, you can reach new levels of understanding and mutual satisfaction. Tensions become destructive only if you persist in not dealing with them.
A lack of conflict does not mean that there is harmony. Underlying, unexpressed emotions can deaden a relationship. Harmonizing is not the same as giving in, becoming passive, or overcompromising. Cutting off your participation does not create harmony, either.
When two musicians play together, their sounds may clash – or they may blend in a pleasing way. The movement between tension and resolution gives music its life. Music that avoids any clash or tension is bland. Similarly, an alive, healthy relationship thrives on its occasional moments of contrast, tensions, and even conflicts. You can learn and grow from challenging moments – as long as you are active, respectful, and cooperative in their resolution.
As two master musicians improvise together, they explore a wide range of personal expression – and that may lead them to moments when their sounds become quite disharmonious. But when this happens, they don’t stop playing! They actively participate in – and take responsibility for – the music they are making. They know that somehow they will be able to resolve their brief moments of tension. Hence they stay with it and continue to play together, even though they don’t know in advance exactly how they will ultimately reach resolution.
The musical relationship that results is an exciting, alive, and rich process to experience. Both partners participate in the relationship fully, in ways that respect their own integrity and the music as a whole. They are constantly listening to one another and are able to respond with immediate flexibility as different situations arise. They use discord to lead to further resolution and, in this way, create positive musical meaning from it.
Occasionally, one musician may even take a short break. They may sit onstage and listen to their partner elaborate on a theme, or even walk to the side and take time out – but they never leave the concert hall. They remain able to come back in at the appropriate moment and continue playing with their partner, full of new energy and musical insight.
Is there any source of tension in your relationship at this time? The card HARMONY encourages you to use all matters of contrast, conflict, and tension as material to “play” with – to further growth and aliveness in your relationship.
To create harmony, this card reminds you to breathe, open your mind, open your ears – and respect the contributions of each partner. Harmony is an active process that you and your partner both engage in, a process that leads to resolutions that will truly sustain you and your relationship.
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