We are all a part of nature, and like the moon’s waxing and waning, the tide’s ebb and flow, and the rhythm of the seasons, we experience continual cycles throughout our lives. When the card EBB & FLOW presents itself, you are being asked to recognize how different cycles and rhythms move through a relationship.
Relating includes many cycles and rhythms. Each has its own characteristics and challenges. As an example, all partners experience cycles of merging and separating. Both sides of the cycle – closeness and distance – are important for everyone to experience. But you and your partner each have your own unique rhythms and steps for closeness and distance.
The challenge is to balance your rhythms together and try to reduce the emotional turmoil that can occur when you are out of synch. The card EBB & FLOW encourages you to relax and let your steps together or apart flow more easily. Respect your cyclic nature. For example, if you let a partner have space when they want it, you allow the cycle to continue on to its next step – where they’ll want to move closer again.
Other cycles in relating include activity and rest, peace and conflict, passion and indifference, excitement and calm, laughter and tears, high energy and low energy, feeling open and feeling closed, “working on the relationship” and “just coasting along.” What are the many cycles and seasons that move through your relationship? If you are aware of how each cycle operates, you can learn to accept and honor wherever you and your partner are at any given moment.
If something in your relationship seems out of synch, the card EBB & FLOW may have appeared to say that any particular moment is but one step in a greater ongoing rhythm. As you become less reactive to any single step, your acceptance of where you are gives you freedom to continue moving on to the next step. Honor all your momentary extremes, knowing that the dark moon is as important as the full moon, and that it doesn’t mean something is “wrong.” Know that you are likely to cycle through each phase in turn.
By pulling this card, you are being challenged to accept whatever phase you may be experiencing – the full light of the moon and increased energy and activity together, the dark side of the moon and the quieting move inward, or the transitions of waxing and waning. Allow yourself to relax and open your heart to whatever season you are in, rather than wishing it were different. In this way, you can avoid becoming stuck. By not pushing against the experience of where you are now, you can continue to move through the cycle.
Also know that you and your partner will be in synch at times and out of synch at other times. This is a normal part of the flow between any two individuals. Each of us has our own timing. The card EBB & FLOW reminds you that by accepting every moment, you allow the flow between you to continue. Open your heart to each season you encounter – and if you have trouble with any particular season, look within for how you can heal or grow. In this way, you will continue to move together in your relationship with a greater sense of ease and appreciation.
By John Grey, PhD