How balanced is your life at this moment? Balance is a continual process and a constant challenge. Things are forever changing. Lives don’t remain static for long. As things change in your life, your focus may shift and new facets may emerge. A new focus can even come to dominate your life – throwing it out of balance for a while.
Balance is remembering to visit all the other facets of your human wholeness – even when your energy fixes itself on a particular theme. Balance is like a gardener remembering to water and care for all of the plants in a garden – even though a brightly blossoming one draws more attention.
The card BALANCE is a call to nurture your wholeness, the entire garden of yourself. The human garden includes a wide variety of needs – work, play, activity, rest, time with others, time alone. It has many dimensions – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. It expresses a multitude of qualities – serious, humorous, determined, patient, assertive, receptive, courageous, gentle, and many, many more.
In pulling this card, you are reminded to beware of being trapped in single-mindedness – where you specialize in one need, one dimension, or one human quality – losing track of all your other vital aspects. Don’t let all your other plants wither or die from lack of attention. They are all part of you. Nurturing them all is important to your health.
In relationships, we are continually called upon to come into better balance with another person. Partners can often be at odds, going in different directions. One may focus on work just as the other opens to play. One might need more solitude just as the other wants more togetherness. One may be in a mental, problem-solving mode just as the other needs more physical or emotional connection. One may become serious just as the other is getting lighter.
In healthy relating, it’s important that both partners get their wants and needs met. Each person can freely state their side of any issue. Each gets a fair turn. They share decisions. There is a sense of balance in who gets what, when. This is an ideal picture of balance in action.
But relationships sometimes resemble a three-ring circus of conflicting wants, needs, and differences. Do differences in your relationship create tension? Do your partner’s wants differ from what you need? This can lead to a power struggle, a poor compromise, or an unsatisfactory stalemate. But it can also be a chance to grow. How does one take the path to growth? The secret is to grasp this: However they differ from you, your partner is only reminding you to honor an aspect of yourself – one you are probably overlooking!
Taking it this way, you can welcome your partner’s voice as a call for balance. All partners tend to express differing needs to each other. Instead of reacting to these as a source of friction, you can open your heart and consider each of your partner’s requests. Realize that they may actually be serving your best interest – reminding you to become more balanced, whole, and healthy in how you live your life. As you and your partner balance your differing wants and needs, you will find greater balance personally – within yourself.
If your relationship is suffering and you wish you had a really powerful way to quickly transform it, consider attending one of my intensive marriage retreats.
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