Agreements

 

Relationships are defined by the agreements we make – both large and small. On the broadest scale, we agree on how to act and speak with each other. Many of these agreements are unconscious, and stay that way until we are faced with a need to change them.

On a smaller scale, we make specific agreements on things like meeting at specific times, engaging in particular activities, or performing certain tasks. Such agreements usually specify actions and timing. Keeping these agreements is a building block of trust between partners. Whenever you don’t keep your agreements, you violate that trust.

Picking the card AGREEMENTS may indicate that you need to change an old agreement or to make a new agreement – to resolve some situation or to move toward a positive goal. But it may also mean you could benefit from reviewing how you set up and keep agreements, in general. This card asks you to become more conscious in making agreements of all sorts.

Do you ever leave agreements unfulfilled? Agreements are not always easy to keep. This is especially so if you aren’t fully true to yourself when you agree to something – when you are not fully saying “yes.” In this case, a part of you may not really agree. Yet, in the moment you are agreeing, you may not be aware that you have any objections.

The card AGREEMENTS might be telling you to be more aware when you enter into agreements. Do you tend to agree to things too quickly? Do you do this if you feel pressured, wish to avoid conflict, or want to make a partner feel better? When it comes to fulfilling an agreement, do you ever delay, hedge, or go along halfheartedly? Do you do things because they are expected, and you are uncomfortable saying “no”? These are signs that you tend to make agreements without paying full attention to how you truly feel inside.

This card reminds you that it can be just as important to say “no” as it is to say “yes.” If you are not fully true to yourself in making an agreement, you set up a situation – perhaps unconsciously – where you may break the agreement or build up resentments in keeping it. A vital ingredient for keeping clear agreements is being aware of what is really going on inside of you at the time that you make each agreement. Make agreements consciously!

This card suggests you pay close attention to what goes on in your head, your heart, and your belly whenever you make an agreement. Notice if you get a total sense of “yes” inside yourself. Notice if there are feelings or concerns that you are not expressing. It is helpful to ask yourself, “What feelings, wants, or needs might stop me from keeping this agreement?”

Exploring agreements that you make or don’t make, keep, don’t keep, or resent keeping, is a doorway to self-knowledge. Discuss all your feelings, concerns, and motives in the process of making agreements. You will thereby make agreements that you can live by. Partners who make it safe for one another to fully voice their points of view – and to negotiate over anything – are relating in a healthy manner. Making and keeping agreements, with awareness and choice, lays a foundation for real trust and mutual understanding.

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