-- Question for John --
My girlfriend and I have been apart for almost 3 months. She says she loves me and wants to get back together but she isn’t ready yet. My question is should I give her the time she needs even though it has been 3 months? And should I consider getting back with her because if she lost her feelings for me once then it can happen again?
-- Answer from John --
Live your life as if you are not getting back together — AND — as if you do not need a woman in your life right now — BUT — that you are focused on your own personal and emotional inner growth, dedicated to learning the lessons there are to learn about why the relationship did not work as well as it could of — INCLUDING — whatever part YOU played in that.
Benefits of doing this:
(1) You are no longer putting any pressure on her to comply with your needs, so she will be freer to make her own REAL choice, and you do want that to be real, in the long run;
(2) You are taking responsibility for your own life and your own feelings, and you will feel much better about that;
(3) You are learning from the mistakes of the past so you won’t have to just repeat them again; and
(4) The time that passes while you are alone will be much more meaningful to you personally.
If you do the above, then when and if she does want to get back together, you will be much better prepared to look at what is really going on, what you really want and need, ask her the hard questions that you have never asked (because you will know them inside yourself), and you will be able to deal with whatever the actualities are, and you will be able to make this choice for yourself.
