What kinds of couples will benefit from this approach? John works with a wide range of presenting situations, and his intensive format is an excellent fit and will meet the needs of most couples. Whether you’ve been together for years unable to overcome certain issues — or you’re a new couple wanting tools that ensure lasting happiness — working intensively with John can well serve your needs and goals.
A retreat with John offers you a powerful and supportive place to acquire new skills, to get unstuck, to resolve issues, to heal past wounds, reconnect, to deepen intimacy, and to learn how to prevent reactive cycles or downward spirals. You will learn to operate as a securely functioning couple, to communicate in ways that enable you to maximize shared pleasure and minimize distress or upset. All of us, both old and young, can benefit from knowing the language of lasting love.
Here some typical kinds of couples that come to work with John:
- Married Couples vs. Unmarried Couples — Whether you are married or not does not matter. Couples are couples and relationships are relationships. All couples deal with the same kinds of patterns and issues, to one extent or another. All couples need to have certain skills to thrive in long term love. Couples in all stages can benefit.
- Pre-Marital Counseling — John offers premarital counseling to acquire effective communication tools, to learn the language of lasting love and intimacy, and to discover how easy it is to prevent the typical reactive cycles and other mistakes that damage long term relationships.
- Relationship Tune-Up or To Reconnect — John’s intensive approach is great for a marriage tune-up. It’s always easier to catch potential problems in your dynamic earlier than later. All couples will benefit from learning the tools to deepen intimacy and know how to best operate as a couple so that you maximize shared pleasure and minimize distress.
- On the Brink of Divorce or in High Distress — Most couples who come to John are in trouble and suffer significant distress. In many cases, one or both partners are contemplating divorce. Often they have been stuck in reactive cycles or distancing for years. Some have been living like roommates or suffering the empty next crisis. For levels of distress like these, we strongly recommend a three or four day private retreat to transform a stuck dynamic, re-establish trust, hope and connection, and integrate new tools.
- Filed for Divorce or Considering Getting Back Together — John’s work offers a place to heal the past wounds, really learn what went wrong (it’s never what you thought it was), reconnect more authentically, and find out how to operate differently if you do choose to get back together. Given the depth of past difficulties, a four day private retreat is recommended.
- Couples Not Suited for This Approach — If you suffer from any of the following, discuss with us if our work would be helpful: physical abuse, substance addiction, or an ongoing current affair. In general, these conditions are better worked with a local therapist than in an out-of-town intensive program like ours. Also, if one partner has fully given up on the relationship and has zero motivation to make it work, our work probably will not change that.